Growing pains

Beth our oldest is 11 going on 12.  She attends public middle school and is a high performance achiever, all A's and B's.  All A's prior to the huge change in culture from elementary to middle school.  She is an amazing helper, independent, and a doer in our house.  Always ready to help, she's a typical first born.  She has hit her pre-teen years and the whole house is feeling it.  I thought I was ready and had done all my homework but, much like a rare disease, we have run into growing pains with the hard real details of daily life.
She told me that I don't have time for her due to the fact that I'm always "dealing" with Tommy's issues.  She began accusing me with all the furry of a mid-west tornado (the ones that uproot houses and mame the surroundings).  I was not ready for this.  Jealousy and disappointment from the steady one who seemed to be flying through this all with great wings.  Wow- was I surprised. It created the perfect storm in a busy week of trying to nail some very important details down. Who would be Tommy's advocate to get the HELP we desperately need to get him treatment?  Suddenly I was the FAILED mom who did not have enough time for her.

I ran to the roar (with her and God).  I climbed up in her bed to talk it out and ended up with a black and blue left cheek and eye coming down out of her bunk bed.  I have NEVER seen my husband move so fast when he heard me hit the floor.  Those of you who know us can be humored by this.  He is the turtle and I am the race horse.  The ice packs came flying and he cared for me through the night to bring the swelling down.  He was a gem.

We know that when dealing with the complexity of doctor appointments, illness, lack of communication, support, and understanding, it is difficult for the family involved with rare disease. This is bound to surface in the family.  I just was not ready.  It's kind of like being ready when we are young and growing pains hit us.

I got some good counsel and mentoring on the growing pains from people I could trust.  They had experience with this tender age and our unique family situation.
One week later Beth is better and I am settled in the fact that we have a long ways to go and as a family. The growing pains are essential and necessary to ALL of us. Me included.

Hopefully I will get used to the growing pains and learn to enjoy them even when they hurt...
And prayerfully we will all be stronger when we get to the other side!